They say there's a place for everyone and Hotel Malus Vir lives up to that saying. This personal project is a hotel concept centered around the idea of giving "Bad Guys" a place to stay when they go out of town or just need some time to hide out. Loosely inspired by the Hotel Continental from the John Wick Series as well as the film Hotel Artemis.
The Lobby
Despite the drizzle, we roll down our car window and look at the looming building where our chauffeur just parked in front of. The structure features Art Deco architecture painted in a dark charcoal color with gold trims, presenting an imposing and distinguished appearance. As we step out onto the sidewalk, we look up at the building, and a bright red neon sign illuminates the building’s name, “Hotel Malus Vir," from the rain clouds above. Even though our Latin is rusty we can still translate it to “Hotel Evil.” A little too on the nose, but just enough to hide in plain sight in the middle of a big city. We make our way through the golden arched entryway and enter a beautifully lit lobby. On the left is the check-in desk, with metal grates to protect those who are doing the check-in from those checking in. On the right, a history of the hotel through art and photography hangs on the wall. The entrance to the library is also on the left-hand side. As we make our way in, we stop to rest on one of the velvet couches that fill most of the center of the room as our head man checks us in. Our eye catches a large portrait at the very end, hanging at the center of the stairs just before they split to go left or right. It’s a portrait of the Familia Fortez, the owners of the hotel and the biggest crime family in the city, second to them are the Bortaceli Family.
Alonso Fortez: The head of the Family, son to Armando Fortez who “retired” from the business in the ’90s and hasn’t been heard of since.
Claudia Fortez: Wife to Alonso, she handles the finances.
Pablo Fortez: The Oldest Son, heir to the family business (although rumor has it, he doesn’t want to take over and would rather leave it to his little brother).
Miguel Fortez: The Youngest Son, ex-military, and handles security detail.
Their portrait looms over the lobby watching every guest who comes in and out, reminding them of who their gracious hosts are as well as the power they exude. We break away from our group and decide to grab a drink from the bar on the second floor overlooking the lobby. Its tall golden back shelves have some of the top liquors handled by some of the city’s best bartenders, just make sure to leave a tip, you wouldn’t want cyanide slipped into your next drink. We sit towards the back of the bar area, near a grand window that overlooks the city street below. We watch innocent people walk past not knowing the kind of criminals who choose Hotel Malus Vir for accommodations when the time is needed to slip away from the spotlight. Notably, some of the world’s most wanted find their way here every so often, you get lucky to be able to check out in one piece. From assassins and arms dealers to exotic animal collectors and ex-nuclear chemists, it’s quite the array of the company that you can find check-in.
The Library:
Back down to the first floor, we walk over to the Library, a small part of the hotel with a phenomenal espresso bar, it holds some of the world’s priceless collections of first editions. It’s an intimate part of the hotel top to bottom with these series and notable art collections. Passed down from generation to generation, the library was founded by Abuelita Margara who used the façade of the library as a front for her smuggling business. Long before the hotel was even a thought, she would “collect” priceless books from around the globe, and the goods she brought in were hidden underneath these books. Just before she could be taken into custody by the city Police Department, she shut the doors to the Library and fled back to her home country, Cuba. Years later, the Library is under the care of Pablo, who treats each book with respect and continues the “collection.” Looking around we notice tiny hints of Margara, from family photos, old receipts of her smuggled items, and even etched in one of the bookshelves her name and the date of June 7th, 1923. We order a Cortado, a pastelito de guava, and sit by an original work by F. Scott Fitzgerald, which rumor has it Margara had a passionate love affair with during one of her first visits to the city.
The Basement:
Heading back down, past the Lobby area, about two floors lower within the basement is the Gym… otherwise known as The Basement…that’s it, that’s the name. Its concrete walls, chain link fence door, and color-changing mood lighting, everything about it gives off the perfect workout space for the super bad. Oh, and of course there's the DJ booth at the center of the room playing the latest hits that get blood pumping. All these changes came at the end of 2018 when Pablo and Miguel decided to remodel the basement to their liking. What used to be an old, abandoned storage space/negotiating torture room/1920s drink smuggling ring (this place has too much history to be able to tell in one sitting) is now a state-of-the-art gym equipped with everything needed to shape up, slim down, and tone up. The idea came when the Fortez brothers both embarked on a fitness journey and quickly learned that the usual public gyms just weren’t the right fit for their personalities. So, a safe space was made for the criminally wanted who were looking to start a healthier life of villainy. All types of equipment can be found here from a line of treadmills, cycles, stair masters, and other cardio necessities to free weights, weight machines, tires, body weight space, and more. There’s even room dedicated to yoga and boxing with plenty of bags to punch…some even with personal enemies' faces stuck to them. Plus, to recover you can always try their sauna and eucalyptus-filled steam rooms. The Fortez brothers thought of it all for The Basement, and every so often you might catch them breaking a sweat here themselves.
Pool:
If taking a few laps in a refreshing pool is more your style of workout, or you just want to take a relaxing dip, don't worry, Malus Vir has that covered, literally covered with an indoor pool on the 14th floor. We can feel the perfectly set temperature of the entire floor as we step inside. The pool itself is built toward the back center of the floor, with the rest of the seating wrapped around it almost like a U shape. The resort's logo is mosaic tiled on the ground of the pool; a waterfall aligns the back wall, creating a slight relaxing mist. The entire space gives off a sense of mystical relaxation and fits perfectly to make any villain feel at peace between heists, killings, and traitorous plans. Plants such as palm trees fill spaces between lounges, tables, and seats. We take a towel from the towel exchange shelf near the elevator and find a space at the pool bar. A beautifully built small bar made of dark wood and dim mood-lighting bottles sits on a slightly stained mirrored shelf. The best feature of the bar? The blenders are kept hidden in soundproof cabinets so that no criminal is disturbed by the loud blended sounds of a Pina Colada being prepared. An idea conceived by Armando Fortez’s personal bartender turned hitman, Ignacio, one afternoon was blending a few cocktails, which interrupted a meeting between Armando and “business associates” and nearly got his hand cut off for it. Ignacio ended up addressing all interruptions to such meetings throughout the hotel with various innovations until his passing in the early 90s.
A View to Die For:
Dressed to impress or intimidate, we take the elevator up to the highest floor of the hotel. Stepping out to the sound of soft Latin jazz and the scent of freshly rolled smoked cigars. The rooftop lounge, named A View to Die For, is the perfect spot to grab a drink before or after dinner. A live band plays in the evening from a stage that sits to the right of the room, a bar right across, making perfect cocktails to relax with, and a cigar bar right beside. But the real breathtaking aspect of the lounge and why it's named what it's named is the 180 floor-to-ceiling glass windows that align the room giving a spectacular view of the city. It’s the perfect place to catch the sunset before dinner or sensually dance at night with the backdrop of the city lights. Some of the topmost politically corrupt players have come up to the lounge to celebrate election victories, mob kings have held meetings, and even a few black-market auctions have been held here in the past. The most notable event was the wedding ceremony of Marco El Tiburon Ramirez and his wife Celia Vampira De La Cruz in 1937. Almost half of the city's underworld attended. And you think this would have been the perfect police raid, right? Well, story has it the police chief and his wife were guests of honor at the wedding. A portrait of that night hangs on the wall near the bar to this day, surrounded by a few other photo trophies of the lounge's past.
Cuchillo:
Hungry we go back to the second floor of the lobby, across from where the lobby bar sits, is a 4 Michelin-starred restaurant serving the best flavors the Caribbean has to offer. From flavorful chimichurri smothered churrasco to platters made up of platano maduro, yuca frita, carne puerco, vaca frita, and congri. Other dishes serve up tostado bowls filled with mofongo, shrimp, or ceviche and desserts from pastelles, flans, and more. A beautifully designed space, we take our seats at a corner half booth, dim lighting sets the mood, and the back wall made of a corrosion mirror gives the restaurant an expensive feel. Its open kitchen concept gives us a view of the master chefs behind the delicious food. Funny story, it wasn’t always an open concept until 1982 when head chef Jean-Jaques Dessalines wanted a clear view of a special VIP guest known to frequent Cuhillo from time to time. The VIP was invited to the grand reopening of the restaurant, but quickly found himself the only one to have been invited by the chef himself, after a phenomenal meal, it was time to end the night with dessert. So, the VIP was served Pain Patate (Sweet Potato Bread) Chef’s specialty. Well, one bite in was enough to bring the night to an end. Two souse chefs helped take the VIP’s body to the ground level where a truck was waiting for pick up…it’s still unknown who the VIP was or why Jean-Jaque did what he did but a week later Jean was flying back to his home island of Haiti and Chuchillo was in search of a new head Chef.
The Infirmary:
Located on the 13th floor, squeezed between rooms where notable criminals are spending their stay sits a singular black heavy metal door. Above the door, a bright pink neon sign saying “INFIRMARY” must be the hotel health services clinic. No, far from it. We knock on the door and watch as a slip opens from the corner and a pair of rough eyes stare right back at us. “How can we help you at the Hotel Infirmary?” The person behind the door asks, so we respond, “Just here for our shots.” The slit closes back and a lock unlocking is heard as the heavy metal door begins to slowly swing open. Music begins to pour out as we make our way in, acknowledging the doorman and continuing into the Infirmary. At first, we find ourselves in what seems to be a waiting room, a nurse sits at a guest check-in desk and a couch with a wooden coffee table across with a few outdated medical and family magazines adorned on top. As we keep walking to the back, the ambiance slowly changes, dim colored lighting, fog at our feet, a bar at the back with shot glasses lining the counter, and a DJ straight across. The Infirmary is far from a clinic and instead, a speakeasy turned into a hidden club. Set up by Alonso and Claudia when they first took over the hotel, hoping to bring in a younger crowd of criminals to the locals. That and any good businessman in the criminal business knows clubs are a streamlining form of the drug business, meaning a new line of revenue for the Hotel. But if asked about any drug, no one will give you a straight answer. The club itself still resembles what a hospital room would look like. IV lines, a few hospital beds, and of course the bottle girls in their finest nurses' uniform, the bartenders in scrubs, and the DJ wearing a pharmaceutical gown and face mask as he plays. Usually, at the Infirmary, you’ll find Adriana Rocha, Brazil’s finest assassin, who usually comes after a kill or scope out her assignment. Generally, she shares a table in the VIP corner with Pablo Fortez from time to time. No one ever knows what they're talking about in between drinks but somehow a new body is always found the next morning, with no trace of the killer. The Infirmary is the perfect way to end the night at Hotel Malus Vir, where there is never a dull night.
The Armory:
Checked out from a much-needed rest and break from the public eye, we wait down at the lobby bar for our getaway car. But just before heading out, it would be rude not to pass by the armory. Located hidden behind the staircase of the lobby, cleverly designed to look like a simple portrait of Armando Cortez and his wife Cassandra Fortez, we push aside the painting and step into the frame where a room with an open vault sits, we make our way into the vault and find some of the finest collections of black market items, clothing, artwork, scientific research, and much more. It’s almost like a gift shop for the criminals that pay a visit during their stay. Along the walls, behind grates, sits a wide collection of smuggled weapons, illegally crafted weapons, and antique weapons. All belonging to the Fortez family of course, and it is great to see but not…touch…a shame.
It’s a rainy afternoon when we leave the hotel. Before entering our vehicle, we take a final glance up, beyond our pitch-black umbrella, and observe the imposing hotel. Its neon sign is hidden amongst the storm clouds but its light shines through. Rain hits the windows of each room within. Each one holds a sinister criminally insane person. The stories that the walls of the Hotel Malus Vir could tell would haunt entire generations…but there’s just one way you can discover them. Book your stay, they are just eagerly awaiting your arrival
